I mentioned it recently. Sometimes social media creates the sense that most of the people in my online communities are in a state of perpetual success and high level mastery. It gives cause for me to feel like I should be doing something spectacular with my life and talents errrrdayyy. Like I should be ‘on’ all the time. Sometimes this causes me to feel overwhelmed, and a sense of hopelessness in myself to develop mastery of my crafts. But, I also appreciate that it acts as a nagging reminder that I have a choice to become more aware of my inherent amazingness. The patronising feeling that can come from social media, so long as I choose not to be defeated by it can be impetus for me to secure a grounded foothold in self-recognition, self-appreciation, and self-value. Building my ability to be able to live in a self-appreciating reality doesn’t let me off the hook to have stick-to-itiveness in mastering my crafts - it doesn't mean I coax myself into a lulled sense of contentment by snuffing the flame of my passions, desires, hopes and dreams. It does call on me to solidify the fundamental understanding of myself as a worthy participant in the theatre of life. I’m teasing apart two skills here, which I feel are essential to our ability to be on the one hand consistently present, content and grateful, and on the other hand confident with our ability to thrive, blossom and rise to the challenges our heart yearns for. These skills are:
1) Our ability to love all that we are, and all the feels that arise (this is a constant process, a live happening that is prioritised over the following steps). This first step necessitates identity within a broader community, a sense of value for self and others. Moving on to step 2 before the individual is plotted and integrated in reference to a framework of ‘others’ seen as equal and valuable, in my experience gives rise to wobbly footing to give or receive in a genuine manner through our delectable growth process (life). For genuine growth, my experience has shown me that we must start from a place of love for the self and love for other- A deep recognition for all that is well within the world, and a deep trust and patience that we are doing worthwhile work by showing up for ourselves and others even when we are unsure of our path or our worthiness on our path. Note that I am suggesting that to have a solid sense of self-love, we necessarily need our sense of identity to be rooted in a healthy relationship with community.
2) Just keep swimming. To keep on keeping on and exploring what new levels of mastery or beginners mind we can explore even though we are unsure of what the result will be. Let's break this down even further: 2.a) Connecting to Passion and allowing the flow of inspiration to gain momentum initiating action/practice 2.b) dispassion, practicing healthy impartiality to the outcome even when we are putting forth effort and vulnerability in developing new skills.
I feel it is important to really differentiate these steps so that they can be a clear process in our personal system of ethics that enable us to cope with conflicting emotions when challenging times arise. When our confidence breaks and self-doubt takes hold, step by step processes can be calming and help to reascertain that we can habitualise more beneficial pranic patterns.
The part that I suspect is more highly needed and most commonly missing (because it wasn’t status quo local know-how in my main communities) is step 1: ones ability to feel worthy and integrated in community, while simultaneously feeling an intrinsically or extrinsically supported sense of individuality and freedom to be different (yes I tagged on this italicised, extra bit of explanation). When we are able to see life from this 'positioned within community', grounded, self-valuing perspective we are able to feel into our ‘amazingness’ no matter the scale of our actions, efforts, or role.
The last bit of support to fortify this 2 step structure is routine. We need routine methods to be reminded of our greatness- Routines that welcome the divine, and the presence of the divine within us to be recognised throughout our day-to-day, so that no matter where we are in our process of becoming we can be centred in our worthiness. Or at the very least remotely in touch with it!
If this is you sometimes too, if you can relate to the conflicting emotions that arise from a crushing feeling of not enoughness, with the simultaneous desire for positive self-change then give the give the 2 step practice a thought and anchor it to your bedtime routine and/or wake-up routine. Take a moment to bask in any emotions that are present, let them flower and bloom wherever the localized feeling is in your body, love them fully, and then move on to see where you might like to explore forward with a healthy passion-dispassion balance in this day/week/month.
If you are interested in learning more routines for physical, emotional, pranic, and spiritual well-being get in touch with me to learn about my Wild Childs program that starts on December 5th! I’m all about helping you explore new levels and layers of yourself, not from a place of lack or need for change out of ‘not enoughness’, but from a place of deep love, self-honouring and out of joy for exploration. Together we invite intentional change (rather than resisting inevitability of change) from a place of connection with self and others, with feeling a sense of support and interdependence (interplay of being able to ask for help and valued for your offerings).
Lots of love,
Photography credit: Emmanuel Mbala